Everyone can use more tangerines and kisses

Pissy moods come and go.  Everyone can use more tangerines and kisses.

This was an email response to the Most Inspiring Email of 2010 story posted on this blog. But wait, before you check out that short inspiring story, watch this brief heart lifting video on giving and receiving. Reciprocity is the co-creative principle of Life, is the one of the Wild Resiliency Assertions, and is beautifully illustrated here.

YouTube Preview Image

Note: I came to this video through Charity Focus.org, sponsors of the inspiring ijourney.org weekly series.

What joy might you give yourself today…by giving even ‘just a smile’ to someone else? Or as Charles Eisenstein says is the most important question, “What is the most beautiful thing I can do?

Posted in 1 The River of Life — The Art of Living, 4 The Ecological Self, Community Resilience, Emotional Intelligence, Personal Resiliency, Resiliency Videos, Resources, WR Assertions | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wild Resiliency blog 2010 in review and looking ahead

OK, I’ve hesitated to post the 2010 year in review provided for this blog by wordpress.com, being the kind of guy who can shy away from attention…and I’ve decided to share it. In part so I can find it again for my own analysis, and I’m happy they give the blog a ‘Wow’ score. It’s higher than I’d give it so I”m looking ahead and thinking of directions and future posts and…

And like most bloggers, I’m dreaming of how I might attract way more comments, a few at least; and more readers too of course. I love my readers and yet sometimes it feels like mental masturbation here…and then I’ll get the email affirming the value of some post in someones life…. And I keep going too if for no other reason than that I write to know what I think; it’s a practice advised by Warren Bennis in my heavily marked up copy of his book, On Becoming a Leader.

FYI, the Wild Resiliency Institute web site is being redone using wordpress.org, which this site may migrate too as well. I’m thinking the Wild Resiliency Institute web site will become a web and blog site of its own and will be more targeted to the work carried on there.

I’ve also just opened a new site using the same software at larryglover.com so that I can promote my speaking and workshops free of the constraints on this free blog site. I’ve not been a good business man in too many ways to count here and so I’m focusing on business this year as part of my ‘spiritual practice’ in a more conscious way…and we’ll see where it goes. The bio information on this blog will eventually migrate over there and become a link here.

Additionally, less than a quarter of the potential blog material I write ends up on this site so…and I’ve got a load of more personal writing that I’m looking to share and thinking some of it will end up at larryglover.com as well. And then there are the books which continue to haunt me…. Stay tuned for developments in that arena.

I’m also looking to open up a blog site under my corporate name of Paradigm Ventures Inc. It will focus primarily on world view literacy.

Meanwhile, some of the posts awaiting publishing here, and in various evolutionary stages of development, include:

  • Human Resiliency: The Wild Hair of Purpose and Meaning in Life
  • The Resiliency that Transforms
  • The Emotionally Intelligent Army
  • Enhancing Resiliency Through Nature Part III: The Four Faces of Attention and Resilience — and Why You Care
  • Enhancing Resiliency Through Nature Part IV: Strategies and Practices for a Resilience of Thrivability
  • Reviews on Books and Resources that Shift my Thinking

And I’m wanting to share a whole lot more resources of events and people than I’ve been able to do…. This blog may move in that direction for a time as well.

OK, finally, for any regular readers who might be interested in the cruise, here is last year’s summary from wordpress.com:

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The average container ship can carry about 4,500 containers. This blog was viewed about 17,000 times in 2010. If each view were a shipping container, your blog would have filled about 4 fully loaded ships.

In 2010, there were 29 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 191 posts. There were 21 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 3mb. That’s about 2 pictures per month.

The busiest day of the year was March 20th with 386 views. The most popular post that day was The Wild Resilience of Jane Goodall.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were digg.com, curiousexpeditions.org, en.wordpress.com, facebook.com, and wildresiliency.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for bear dog, ravens, resiliency, let the beauty of what you love be what you do, and resilience poem.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

The Wild Resilience of Jane Goodall November 2009
1 comment

2

Let the Beauty of What You Love Be What You Do! December 2007
1 comment

3

Resilience poem, “Optimism” by Jane Hirshfield February 2009
2 comments

4

Seventeen Rules for a Sustainable Community—Wendell Berry October 2007
1 comment

5

Intelligence in Nature – “Clever Ravens” July 2007
5 comments

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There is Something Wrong with Here

There is something wrong with Here,
I swear.
I woke this AM to the sound
of the teapot’s whistle
the sheets were thrown back,
and there before my eyes—
my beautiful partner lay
naked
her beasts exposed
and more
but one nipple invited a kiss
just one tender…
and as I leaned toward my imagination’s invitation
she pushed to help me out of bed
And so we laughed

I returned to the pleasure of
a snuggle while the tea seeped
thinking too of my invitation’s return
“You’re scratchy,” she tells me now
“And before I was just thinking of how my head hurts.
When I pushed you I didn’t know…”

Like I said,
There is something wrong with here.
At least its geography is suspect.
How else can two people
be in the very same geographical here
occupy the very same bed
and be in two different worlds
of here and now
except here be suspect
in love and war
I swear.

Note: What does this whimsical little piece have to do with your resiliency, or with wild resiliency? Seems to me we are continuously encountering the ‘here and now’ of other people. How we navigate these intimate and just everyday territories of seeing the world differently… well, that’s reflective our relational intelligence which is also a skill that can be developed. It is also integrated into the wild resiliency model as part of our Power of Arrival, one of the Seven Keystone Processes of this ‘ecological field modeling’ of human resilience.

When did you last bump into someone else’s here and now… and so suddenly saw your own? Were you able to find the gift in the encounter? What does it take to do so?

Posted in 3 The Power of Arrival, 4 The Ecological Self, Personal Resiliency, Personal Stories, Poetry of Resiliency, Self-Change | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Reinventing Human Identity

I recently wrote a review of the new book by Calvin Martin Luther, The Great Forgetting. I followed up his Resilient Elephant Familybook title in my post title with the question: —Who Are We Anyway?

Luther’s new book was actually first published as the foreword to a book by Gay Bradshaw, PhD, PhD, the founding director of The Keurlos Center, and author of Elephants on the Edge: What Animals Teach Us about Humanity.

Here I’d like to point you to the blog, Animal Visions, and a post, Trans-Species Living: An Interview with Gay Bradshaw. The Interview begins with the question:

“What is trans-species psychology and how did you get involved in starting this new field?” And continues:

Trans-species psychology describes a common model of brain, mind, and behavior for all animals, human inclusive. It draws from research in three main fields: neuroscience, ethology, and psychology. Why “trans” and why “psychology”? Trans re-embeds humans within the larger matrix of the animal kingdom by erasing the “and’ between humans and animals that has been used to demarcate and reinforce the false notion that humans are substantively different cognitively and emotionally from other species…”

Here’s a longer nugget from the interview:

“Why create a new field of psychology? Because psychology encompasses not only what we think but why and how we think and act the way we do. It integrates philosophy and science. As we transition from one paradigm, call it the Cartesian, to another, trans-species, we are in the process of re-examining fundamental assumptions that we took for granted—specifically those that assumed animals as “less than” humans and are based on animal exploitation. Inadvertently, the science community has set western culture on its head with recognizing human-animal mental comparability. Humanity is challenged to re-think almost every aspect of modern culture. We are charged with a re-creation of ethics and reasons and ways of knowledge-making that reflects our understanding that animals are fully sentient beings. Psychology, and in particular those schools of thought such as depth psychology that are implicitly philosophical and existential, provide a synoptic, bird’s eye view to examine our past projections—what we thought animals were—and deconstruct them. Even science cannot continue as is because it is still driven by a social-political agenda that legitimizes animal exploitation. Animals remain objectified in the frame of conventional science. We are faced with rediscovery and re-inventing human identity.”

I recommend a keyboard stroll over to the Animal Visions blog for the rest of this interview, and more explorations into the rediscovery of what it is to be human. And I also want to offer Animal Visions my first  Voices of Wholeness Blog Award. (More on that to come later.)

But before you go, just to warm the cockles of your heart during this holiday season, check out this news item video from msnbc: Elephants can read your heart. Turns out elephants are more ‘human’ than we thought; or perhaps, just perhaps we are more elephant than we thought! (The msnbc source site seems to be down so I’ve changed the link for now. It should now work.)

Imagine, then, the power of conscious narrative, of myths and tales intentionally constructed and repeated that would inform and instruct us in ‘proper’ attitudes toward nature.Linda Vance

 

Readers! What blogs would you like to acknowledge as Voices of Wholeness? What blogs do you go to for inspiration and information that support you in connecting with the ‘all‘ of who you are?

Posted in 1 The River of Life — The Art of Living, 2 Our Ground of Being, Eco/Positive/Depth Psychology, education, Emotional Intelligence, Inspirations & Strategies from Nature, Intelligence in Nature, People, Quotes, Resources, Thrivability | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Most Inspiring Email of 2010

I received this ‘most inspiring email of 2010′  the other day, from a ‘western’ friend who is spending a few months in the Mekong Delta of Viet Nam. Of note, he is also a Nam Marine Vet who is a holder of  The Purple Heart.

 

Dear friends and family,

I was in a pissy mood yesterday so I decided to walk in to town alone and calm down.  On the way, someone yelled “merci” at me from his yard and waved.  I waved back and continued walking.  A minute later I looked back to the sound of footsteps.  There he was.  He gave me half a tangerine.  He then gave me a smile, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek.  Instant cure.

Love to all,


Reciprocal Resiliency

Reciprocal Resiliency

The gift you receive is the one you give!

Bloggers! What is your most inspiring email…of 2010. Who sent you something that gave rise to your spirit? Post it on your blog, and in the comments here let us know and give us your link.

Note: Photo and “The gift…” comment are mine.

Posted in 1 The River of Life — The Art of Living, Beyond Sustainability, Community Resilience, Eco/Positive/Depth Psychology, Ecology, Emotional Intelligence, Navigating the Narrows, Organizational Resilience, People, Personal Resiliency, Resiliency | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

From Tragedy to Triumph: Resiliency Inspirations for the Journey

From Tragedy to Triumph: 100 Amazing and Inspiring Comebacks is a new book by John F. Groom, of Positive Press renown, and David Noon. The tag line is, “How some of the world’s most successful people came back from disaster…and how you can too.!

I’m not particularly drawn to what I’m going to call here, formulaic writing, though its success in the public marketplace attests to a widespread approval of it; witness the best selling and ever evolving Chicken Soup series. So maybe its just a bit of jealousy from this aspiring writer that initially had me setting the book down after I opened it and discovered the format. Or maybe it was the overwhelm that easily comes to me during the holiday season and the knowledge that I had agreed to review the book and…. You know how excuses come easily.

Perhaps that’s the obvious takeaway from this new book exploring human resilience: excuses come easily. Triumph over tragedy however, comes only through some almost ethereal like persistence and belief in one’s self, from luck and relationships, and it arises out of the requisite tragedy itself in some way. From Tragedy to Triumph does its best to take the ‘ethereal’ out of that often elusive quality of persistence, and it does so without offering a model of resiliency for us to mentally fall back upon.

The book is primarily descriptive, and only secondarily prescriptive; and then so only based upon the testament of 100 biographies. I guess that’s enough, for starters.

That descriptive approach is the book’s strength however. It is essentially composed of two-page biographical reviews of 100 resilient harriet tumban sittingpeople, ranging from the living to the historical, from Stephen Hawking to the slave freeing Harriet Tubman, from the now famous J. K. Rowling to many people previously unknown to me; all of them, despite fame coming only to some, extraordinary people because they found something inside to live true to. The other inclusive commonality running through their life stories is at least one seriously low point, a life tragedy for some and for others a life of extreme adverse circumstance, when the excuses to give up might have come easy to them; and they chose not to go there.

They persisted. And out of their persistence came a better world for them, and in many cases, Albert Einstein for example, we are the beneficiaries as well. The book, I confess, despite it’s too narrow for me ‘bounce back’ conceptualization of resilience, is growing on me. It is an inspiring read and a good reference for those of us who love history and biography and are curious about the arena of human flourishing.

The Conclusion of the book is an exploration into various dynamics and shared particulars among these 100 who triumphed. It turns out for example, that “physical location matters” (geographical moves were often part of the new story), but that formal educational success was not a commonality.

“The things most commonly cited for success—good health, education, appearance, and timing—don’t seem to be of overwhelming importance in making a great comeback, although they tend to be very important in achieving a high degree of conventional success. What matters is that someone believes, for whatever reason, that change is possible. A belief in change requires, perhaps more than anything else, a sense of imagination: you have to believe that life can be something other than what it appears at the moment.”

“They rarely saw themselves as victims. Instead, they focused on one of two great skills: creativity or the ability to connect to others.” (Now there’s another book for the series!)

It is in numerous nuggets such as this that the book reveals its practical applications, beyond serving as inspiration. We all find ourselves in need of strategy and inspiration at times, and studying the lives of those who have found their way through the extremes of adversity is a worthwhile and enlightening way to rediscover either. The book leaves me feeling, “If they can do it, I can too!”

My congratulations to John Groom and David Noon, for this contribution to human resilience. Now I want to read Groom’s Living Sanely in an Insane World. I’ve been trying to figure this out for more than a few days now.

Posted in 3 The Power of Arrival, Books, Business, Models of Resilience, People, Personal Resiliency, Resiliency, Resources, Self-Change | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wild Voices Weaving Wholeness

Flesh of my Flesh
Bone of my Bone
Spirit of my Spirit
weave Wholeness and Beauty
from the threads of my fragments
so there is but One heart, One flesh, One spirit
Celebrating diversity.
— lg, Solstice Prayer 2010

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
— Marilyn Monroe

 

CONSECRATED

All has been consecrated.
The Creatures in the forest know this,

the earth does, the seas do, the clouds know
as does the heart full of
love.

Strange a priest would rob us of this
knowledge

and then empower himself
with the ability

to make holy what
already was.
St. Cathrine of Siena, Love Poems from God

UNTIL YOU CAN EXPLAIN

Priests!
Until you can explain a paving stone, do not try to explain God:
Until your creeds can do as much as apples and hen’s eggs, let
down your eyebrows a little,
Until our Bibles and prayer-books are able to walk like me,
And until your brick and mortar can procreate as I can,
I beg you, Sirs, do not presume to put them above me.
— Walt Whitman

Posted in 3 The Power of Arrival, People, Poetry of Resiliency, Quotes, Religion, Resiliency, Spirituality | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

When Neurobiology and Culture Conflict: Finding Our Way From Here

Enhancing Resiliency Through Nature: Part 2

When Neurobiology and Culture Conflict: Finding Our Way From Here

We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.
Anaïs Nin

Richard Louv, in his groundbreaking book, Last Child in the Woods, tells the story of a fourth-grade boy. The boy tells him, “I like to play indoors better, ‘cause that’s where all the electrical outlets are.”

Louv coined the term ‘nature deficit disorder’ to describe this disconnection we are experiencing from the natural world. The famed biologist, Edward O. Wilson, borrowed the term biophilia from Eric Fromm and extended its reference from the innate ‘love of life’ to include ‘our unconscious affinity for connection with nature’. What we now know however is that this love of ‘all’ life is developmentally hinged.

If children are not exposed to forest and stream, to frog and toad while their neurological system is yet developing, they biologically will not develop the capacity to hear and find pleasure in Robin’s song or to stop and fascinate in the fluttering Monarch’s golden beauty. This evolving loss of sensory sensitivity and orientation is a reflection of what demands or screams for attention from us (a TV or video game) verses what invites a deeper attention and perhaps subtler listening, perceiving and reflecting (i.e. noticing the concentric ripples evoked on a quiet pond of water by a pebble thrown in.)

Attention is the holy grail,” as one brain researcher reported on in Part I said. And nature-deprived children are attentionally undeveloped and likely evolve into environmentally miss-oriented business people, politicians, teachers and parents who cannot see the world of nature in front of their eyes. They become like the New World natives captured in Jane Hirshfield’s poem, Global Warming, from her book, After:

When his ship first came to Australia,
Cook wrote, the natives
Continued fishing, without looking up.
Unable, it seems, to fear what was too large to be comprehended.

The point here is not to blame or accuse but to seek understanding and to see what is, without flinching. We are incapable of attending to that which has no place in our identity, our worldview; nature deficit disorder is also ‘nature attention disorder’, or we might call it, ‘nature identity disorder’.

Children who lack playful interaction with the natural world do not learn to identify their own ‘self’ with it, as also being forest and mountain and desert and river and frog and bear and butterfly. They will not learn to perceive and appreciate that the self and the world are woven not of things but of relationships, that they too are ecological landscapes, that even their own body is sustained by the ecological wonder of intelligent and communicating bacteria.

A world of humans without a self-identification that extends into the other than human realms is an unsustainable world. It will lack the ability to pay attention to the very relationships that ultimately sustain it. It will not know the health of its children is inseparable from the health of its soils and forests and waters, for example, and so through nature attention disorder it will sow the seeds of its own collapse.

The early psychologist, William James, reminds us:

“Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.”

The emerging and controversial science of Neurological Marketing not only confirms James’ sentiment but also now knows how to use your own neurobiology against both you and your unwitting child. They want the attentional real estate of your brain, of our brains.

And the sophistication of brain imagining now allows for marketing researchers to watch what areas of your brain light up as you watch a TV commercial or as a child stares into the screen. And when they can align the sought for neurological sweet spot of the Virgin Mary with patriotic fervor and national pride and family loyalty and images of beauty in nature, all in association with their product and brand, it’s “Bingo!” time: “Loyalty through brain mapping….”

The things we make, make us” however, and we are ever becoming the self-referential creators our own creation: creatures that have forgotten where we come from and so cannot see where we are going. The brain that is unaware of the neurological onslaught of marketing manipulation actively seeking its attention will have little to no defense against the same.

The distance between the forth-grade boy playing indoors, because that is where the electrical outlets are, and the adult who believes he is playing outdoors by driving his SUV through an old growth forest, have become but a virtual Madison Avenue synapse apart.

This is a loss of orientation, and thus too a loss of knowing where and even who we are: beings of wonder and mystery and of inter-connectivity with all life on the planet, creatures who are yet living the ongoing adventure of a cosmos yet emerging out of the womb of Being and Becoming.

Navigating from here: restoring our birthright

“You are never lost if you don’t care where you are.”— Unknown

Fortunately we all come with an onboard GPS system built in: our potential affinity and attunement to nature, our developmental capacity to pay an indigenous kind of attention to the natural world. These potentials for attunement are dramatically revealed in the ancient Polynesian’s skills for ‘wayfinding.’ Their watery environment so extended into their somatic self-referencing, as home and as self, that they accurately navigated tiny canoes within a vast ocean world containing but a dotting of rare and isolated islands. National Geographic Explorer in Residence Wade Davis writes:

The science and art of navigation is holistic. The navigator must process an endless flow of data, intuitions and insights derived from observation and the dynamic rhythms and interactions of wind, waves, clouds, stars, sun, moon, the flight of birds, a bed of kelp, the glow of phosphorescence on a shallow reef—in short, the constantly changing world of weather and the sea.

What is even more astonishing is that the entire science of wayfinding is based on dead reckoning. You only know where you are by knowing precisely where you have been and how you got to where you are. pg. 60 (italics mine)

Davis also tells the story of the legendary master Polynesian navigator Mau Piailug, who during his own training as a child of eight became sea sick.

“…his teacher’s solution was to tie him to a rope and drag him behind the canoe until the nausea passed. As a young man of fourteen he tied his testicles to the rigging of the vessel to more carefully sense the movement of the canoe through the water. …It was said he could conjure islands out of he sea just by holding a vision of them in his imagination. pg. 53 (italics mine)

We now know our canoe and Ark to be Earth itself, soaring in space it seems amidst the great ocean of the Milky Way Galaxy. And our own future is equally tied to our willingness and ability to read the turbulent currents of our times, to come into harmony, attunement and a deep relationship with nature—as self. As we explored in Part I, neurobiological research confirms that this “Green Brain” is smarter and more creative than it would be absent of time spent in the out of doors and in natural settings.

When we know the health, vitality and resilience of our water and air and soil, of all our non-human relations, is also ultimately that of our own, only then shall we also be on the path of reclaiming the resilience of nature as our own.

Make no mistake: we are evolving, or de-evolving as some argue. But how are we unconsciously shaping ourselves into who we will become? And what of our children who may never know the sound of a wolf howling in the wild, or the sight and feel of a horned toad in their hand, or of their whole body opening into the experience of speechless awe at the sight of a bejeweled starry night sky?

A question of story:

If you don’t know the trees you may be lost in the forest, but if you don’t know the stories you may be lost in life. —Siberian Elder

“We are more like the forest than we are different.” This is a phrase my clients come to integrate, whether we are working outdoors or inside modern weather controlled conference rooms. “We are more like the rivers and all of nature than we are different.”

It turns out the modern sciences are confirming this ancient bit of wisdom, wisdom I claim no originality for, though still, for me it was a life transforming personal discovery. It was for me the discovery of a new story of belonging and of connectivity; therein is a hope that is deeper and more engaging than any repetitive depressing news today’s headlines might report.

This is a story of identity that can be rewritten in each of our spirits, minds and bodies as we come to experience and know and identify our self—with Life itself, with nature. Inherent within this new-yet-ancient story is a biognosis, the moist intimate wisdom-knowledge of Life, of our place within it. It is a story that each of us must claim for ourselves if we are to know and embody the birthright of our own belonging and the resiliency of nature as our own.

Each new year is a surprise to us.
We find that we had virtually forgotten the note of each bird,
and when we hear it again, it is remembered like a dream,
reminding us of a previous state of existence…
— Henry David Thoreau

Coming in Part III, Enhancing Resiliency Through Nature: The Four Faces of Attention and Resilience — and Why You Care

Coming in Part IV, Enhancing Resiliency Through Nature: Strategies and Practices for a Resilience of Thrivability

Additional Resource Links:

GROW OUTSIDE! Richard Louv’s Keynote Address to the American Academy of Pediatrics National Conference

View the Richard Louv interview on the TODAY show, in their segment on Nature Deficit Disorder, bottom of the page.

Resource Guide : Here are some helpful resources for parents, teachers, and community leaders to help encourage children in their enjoyment of the great outdoors.

Posted in 1 The River of Life — The Art of Living, 3 The Power of Arrival, 4 The Ecological Self, Deep Ecology, Indigenous Science/Wisdom, Inspirations & Strategies from Nature, Navigating the Narrows, Personal Resiliency, Poetry of Resiliency, Self-Change, Thrivability | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Science and Varieties of Gratitude

“I’ve tried gratitude,” a coaching client recently told me. “And it didn’t work. Nothing changed in my life.”

I was reminded of the way I learned to pray to God as a child. We would have denied it had anyone challenged it as such, but from where I am now, yes, we were always trying to make bargains with our God. It was a kind of petitionary prayer in which we sought either 1) our salvation in exchange for our human love and loyalty, 2) the forgiveness of our frail humanity (sins) in exchange for our renewed loyalty, 3) or some other kind of, “Please God, if you’ll just… I’ll….”

Likewise, my client was attempting to change her life by practicing what gratitude researcher and Psychologist Robert Emmons might call ‘a warm and fuzzy’ approach. She had not yet committed herself to a lifestyle of gratitude, to the intellectually demanding and heart opening receiving of gratitude, come what may. To receive gratitude into one’s life in this way is not, from my perspective, not so much  ‘giving’ gratitude as it is a courageous willingness to perceive life from a spirit of ‘thankfulness’, no matter what.

Below is an excerpt from a recent article on research out of UC Davis: Why gratitude isn’t for wimps.

“We always find the same thing,” he says. “People who keep gratitude journals improve their quality of life.”

Emmons says his 10 strategies can help anyone cultivate a more grateful approach to life. But he warns that the exercises are not for the “intellectually lethargic.” And he stresses that gratitude is incompatible with feelings of victimhood or entitlement, or with the inability to recognize one’s shortcomings or to admit one is not self-sufficient.

“Far from being a warm, fuzzy sentiment, gratitude is morally and intellectually demanding,” he says. “It requires contemplation, reflection, and discipline. It can be hard and painful work.”

Here are Emmons’ evidence-based prescriptions for becoming more grateful:

  • Keep a gratitude journal. Write down and record what you are grateful for, and then when you need to reaffirm your good lot in life, look back on the journal.
  • Remember the bad. If you do not remind yourself of what it was like to be sick, unemployed, or heartbroken, you will be less likely to appreciate health, your job, or your relationship.
  • Ask yourself three questions every evening. Fill in the blanks with the name of a person (or persons) in your life. What have I received from ___? What have I given to ___? What troubles and difficulty have I caused ___?
  • Learn prayers of gratitude. One Emmons suggests in his book from the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh: Waking up this morning, I see the blue sky. I join my hands in thanks; for the many wonders of life; for having 24 brand-new hours before me.
  • Appreciate your senses. One approach: Practice breathing exercises.
  • Use visual reminders. For example, Emmons has a refrigerator magnet in his home bearing this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery … today is a gift.”
  • Make a vow to practice gratitude. “Swearing a vow to perform a behavior actually does increase the likelihood that the action will be executed,” the psychologist notes.
  • Watch your language: It influences how you think about the world.
  • Go through the motions. Research shows that emotions can follow behavior.
  • Be creative. Look for new situations and opportunities in which to feel grateful, especially when things are not going well.

And my coaching client? Yes, she is changing her life. She inspires me with the persistence and courage she brings to a desperate situation. She is learning, as am I, to let a radical spirit of gratitude into our lives. We are learning that gratitude is a transformational form of love and that intentionally inviting and letting it in, however we are able… is to let in the gift of life, come what may.

This is the radical “Yes!” Life invites us into.

Where does gratitude come easy to you in life? Go there.

Where in life do you have to reach to find gratitude? Go there too, and dig deep.

Posted in 1 The River of Life — The Art of Living, Eco/Positive/Depth Psychology, Personal Resiliency, Resiliency, Resources, Science | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Great Forgetting — Who Are We Anyway?

The Great Forgetting
by Calvin Luther Martin

I find the elements of beautiful writing to include crispness, clarity and brevity of language; and it must be provocative in some way. It must emote a passion of thinking or feeling that capture my attention and spiral me deeper into Life, into my own being.

A new book, The Great Forgetting by Calvin Luther Martin, accomplishes all these. Each sentence is potent with power and is presented in a beautiful artistic format that supports the drive of the writing.

I call it a book and it is. It was however, originally published as the foreword to another book, Elephants on the Edge: What Elephants Teach Us about Humanity (Yale University Press, 2009). K-Selected Books has taken Martin’s worthy hymn of thinking and repackaged it as a powerful and artfully designed little book.

I first encountered Martin’s writing in his book, The Way of the Human Being (Yale University Press, 1999). That reading of years ago led me enthusiastically to agree to review a copy of The Great Forgetting. This question, of “What is it to be human?” runs through both books and is as critical to and as shaping of our future as is the question, “Who am I?”

Our responses to these questions weave themselves into the personal and collective stories of our lives like threads weaving the garments of identity we wear into the world. The threads of these potent stories thus clothe even our worldviews of the cosmos, our perceptions of the house finch at the water dish and also of our very self. We unconsciously, for the most part, hang our identities upon the answering of these questions.

Yet it is this question of identity that Martin continues to write to in this new book, not toward an answer of resolution but toward a mystery worth living into: What does it mean to be human?

Are we truly the apex of evolution and cosmic intelligence? Is our highest identity ruling the beasts of the field and fowl of the air for our own pleasures? Calvin answers with an echoing and haunting, “No!” In so doing he invites us to consider breakdowns or turning points in the lives of greats such as Nietzsche, Descartes, Jung, Melville, Thoreau, Faulkner and even Jesus. Like Moses before them, encountering a burning bush in the desert and discovering he already stood on holy ground, each of these too were changed and responded in their own way to an encounter with mystery, with primal ‘First World’ life forces.

Only after a primal encounter, lasting 40 days and nights in the desert alone, did Jesus say, “I and the Father are one.”

I, and Life are…one! For this heretical story of identity Jesus of Nazareth was crucified, so the telling goes. Such a story and identity were theological and cultural blasphemy. His words announced him as ‘undomesticated’. Yes, he was Wild!

And who can say where such wildness might lead if left unchecked? Yet is not this identity of oneness with Life also the very thread woven into the mythologies and worldviews of indigenous people throughout the world? Is it not also the thread from which the world’s wisdom traditions and now even modern science are woven?

And still, even in our modern civilized era, to touch such wildness as this is to be changed. Forever. It is, as Thoreau and Martin describe it: “Contact!”

Martin’s own “inevitable” contact, his “breakdown” or “crackup”, the dissolution of a civilized or a prescribed and domesticated identity, occurred through an encounter with a deeper, cleaner, stronger, more primal and ancient identity than his own. It came through the simple passing of a note from an Yup’ik Eskimo man in a prison in Alaska, and it is a story best left to Martin’s telling.

My own inevitable crackups arrived to a self too small and rigid; Life demanded that I loosen my hold on a constricted human identity and embrace instead an identity at one with all of Life. They were each a death and a birth and each a cairn on a spiraling decent into embracing the beasts and the gods within as who… yes, as who I am too.

This is not the civilized ‘I’. It is not the identity culture pays us to cultivate that we might become proper patriotic consumers. No. In fact, renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow tells us, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

Interestingly, organizational consultants Margaret Wheatley and Myron Kellner-Rogers write of the nature of systems change in A Simpler Way: “A self changes when it changes its consciousness of itself…. It is essential to remember that all change originates when we change our awareness of who we are.”

Correspondingly, the emerging field of Restoration Ecology tells us that if we want to help restore an ecosystem to health, the principle is to help it reconnect to its ‘wholeness’. Thus we restore fire to western forests and grasslands and wolves to Yellowstone and…. In essence we work at the level of identity, reconnecting a diminished self to more of its ‘wholeness.’

This is the drive I read in Martin’s writing, in The Great Forgetting. There, in meditative brevity he provocatively invites us to consider and witness what it is to be human, fully and wholly human, absent the wall of separation from Life. He is playing with our identity, with our awareness of what it means to be human. He would have us remember our wholeness, to live into its unanswerable mystery.

Read it at your own risk. And read it again, and again. It is the kind of participatory reading that deepens with each contact. Give it as a gift to yourself, or a loved one.

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