I have a question
for my men friends.
Have you every yet
made love with a sweet dark-eyed Mule Deer doe?
Have you felt the way she looks
turning toward you those long ears and moist black nostrils
How she presents
those slender long legs turning the white of her rump to you?
God the smell of her
sex pulling, no driving no inviting your one pointedness on.
Your antlers stand alert.
Your sex eager and hard and nostrils flaring
Those doe eyes and ears and nose take you in
and you want her
The way you want your own spirit and soul.
Without them you die.
But it is easier to chase her
as though she were a separate other
than to love your Self.
But for that moment
when you do mate
and you are One
When she gives herself to you
and now you are the holy receiver
a sacred vessel of fire and water and air and earth
This is enough
until next year’s hunger
when having lost the trail of her tracks
you again desire your Self.
You search behind every tree and rock
and then again there…
there you are
wearing the face of Another
calling your spirit home again.
It is perhaps rare for me to not feel some level of fear of exposure and risk when sharing a post on this blog. More so the more intimately personal the post, and that fear is up again for me. Now. Here.
Here I am exposing my sensual and erotic relationship with life and nature and with spirit. Indeed, discovering and nourishing an empathetic relationship with the other than human saved my life time and again as I found (find?) my way out of religious fundamentalism.
There is so much wounded-ness in Western culture around both sexuality and spirituality. And to write of both with a tone of sensuality in one piece! Too rarely do we encounter such in today’s world. The split in the Western psyche is deep; in splitting off our physical nature we split off too from Nature and from Spirit.
Inherent within these splits are the stories of not belonging and of unworthiness so many of us struggle with. The reclamation work of rediscovering our intimate inter-being with all of life is the creative work of our times.
Indeed, I often think of my work as one of revitalizing or re-identifying the human self with nature, as Nature. The call of our souls is for an integration, a kind of awakening to the sensuality of Life where body, mind, heart and soul again become one with self and the world. This too is an enlivening of awe and wonder as primal aspects of a spiritual intelligence connecting us with all of life and is in itself—meaning enough for living.
“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
— Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth with Bill Moyers
Campbell’s quote is a good description of what it felt like for me recently when catching the eyes of my first albino deer in the dimming light of a forest evening, deep in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains of NM. This piece arose out of that meeting as an inspiration of breath and the release of a deep exhale. And it arose from something within me wanting to attract masculine energy and say, “Look! We have a lover in Nature! Let us take note of this sacred hunger in our flesh and souls for one such as this.”
“Nature is your incomparable guide if you know how to follow her.”
— Carl Jung
Larry Glover aspires to discover what being human truly is, particularly in a paradoxical world woven of mystery and consciousness and fire and water and air and earth and spirit and soul too. He struggled from an early age with a madness that would destroy himself, which he came to recognize as a cultural story of separation and unworthiness for life. Larry now leans into our shared love of nature to inspire and deepen what it is to truly love your self, through his writing, speaking, coaching, workshops and wilderness retreats. Learn more of how to engage with Larry at larryglover.com