Have you noticed how the world is woven of delicate webs of friendship care and empathy and love vulnerability and risk and trust and being self-true too all while holding an other within —within your own body as one? Talk about tough and tender wrapped up in one fleshy package! What’s a fellow to do a gal to feel if not— when you hurt I hurt too? And when you feel joy I celebrate with you. Have you noticed too how vulnerable these eternal threads become upon entering the human realm and how only placement of attention sustains them? Now tell me true of your own attention how is that friend you carry inside? You know the one looking back at you when you glance in the mirror? The one that talks mean to you like no one else can? And how is that longing inside you for the dreaming into fulfillment of a more beautiful world where the Tree of Life stands rooted rising strong and naked and exposed for all to own— beginning with you? And what would it take my dear friend to bring care and love even friendship to each of these others, too? Can your self-meanness and fear-of-the-other… what if… they are each cairns in the wilderness of your heart marking your trail home?
A ski accident occurred. You friend needs help so what do you do? In this case I was graced with the freedom to grab a rental car and drive 4 hours to Durango so to drive her and son and car back home. This blessing of being able to actually do something tangible, useful and meaningful for a friend, well…it is a gift.
And this recent gift got me to thinking about friendship and how we care for it. And these reflections eventually took me to the intimacy of my inner friend and questions about the care and attention I bring to him. And to her. These dual aspects of another inner oneness.
The anima and animus, in Jungian language. The masculine and feminine aspects within each of us that seek a holy marriage of intimate and sacred friendship. Yet an inner war, between our own ‘others,’ can leave us feeling in conflict with the very one most in need of compassion and care, our own self.
There are so many ways of coming home to this self. Friendships, the inner and outer kind, are but two of the many cairns along this journey through the wilderness of the heart. May you find kindness to yourself and to some other on this very today of your life’s journey.